I have always wondered the reason behind our innate desires to trap people in a shell. We do this to each other constantly. Two friends go out to place they always go, and they always order the same thing. One friend orders shrimp. They never liked shrimp before. The other friend makes sure to say, “You never liked shrimp.” Leaving the shrimp orderer to doubt their desire for shrimp, ultimately enforcing their previously determined dislike of shrimp.
-I know that’s a rather ridiculous example, but I hope it helps clearify the point I’m trying to make.
What if the habitual friend had kept their mouth shut? Would the experimental, “Let’s try new things,” friend develop a love for shrimp? These are things we will never know. Any time someone feels like a fact they have obtained is false, they have to point it out for confirmation and correction. I think this may cause us to completely re-think our feelings due to the suggestion.
How many times do we potentially limit each other from growth by declaring that we aren’t a certain way? The waitress who wants to be a teacher, but is told by her co-workers, “You hate people.” Well of course she does when she’s waiting on their ill-mannered arses, but she might like helping them to avoid becoming ill-mannered arses in the first place.
Those little reminders that we use to confirm our closeness to someone, causes the death of something pivotal. The death of new ideas. The death of change, of growth, and improvement upon the individual we wish to be close to. It’s the most heinous form of murder, and we do it every single day.
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