I made this amazing discovery after an interaction with my boyfriend last night. When he came home from work I began sharing my projects direction and my enthusiasm. I’m pretty pumped about everything I’ve got going now, and I’m sort of a bit on cloud nine. I’m speaking to him of fantastical possibilities. I’m pouring on about the limitlessness of the internet. I had just discovered twitter, and it made me feel like I could do anything.
So I’m up here on my own planet, superbly excited about my potential, and He is trying to bring me back down to earth. He insists upon pointing out that there are a million people trying to do the exact same thing right now. At that moment my brain begins to follow this exact path. Really, because my social media feed is not bombarded with independent authors, book reviews, and bookstagrams? I had no clue that other people were trying to do this too. I thought I was the only one trying to write in a world that has been creating documented language for roughly 5,500 years. Thank you so much for enlightening me. I had absolutely no clue. What would I do without you.
After that completely sarcastic thought process expires, I commence operation boyfriend smash. So this ordeal is taking place between us and we’ve somehow escelated to fighting. He’s telling me this adventure is a waste of time and how many thousands of people are doing the same thing I’m doing. I’m screaming at him that I’m on a path to becoming the internet version of Oprah. He pulls up a computer to show me all these people doing book reviews, and these sites that already compile it all together. I climb back up on my soap box and declare that I will be different. I’m going to be famous for writing the next book that the whole world will be talking about.
When I have finally reached the fantastical point of being a tantrum throwing seven year old kid again, I decide to make it stop. These are my dreams and I’m going to make them happen, so you can shut that hole in your face. While voicing that to him openly and very audibly, I climb into bed and pull the covers over my head. All the while I’m viciously exclaiming that if he doesn’t shut the heck up with his reality, I’m going to sleep in my car. I literally repeat those exact words over and over again, at about a million decibels, until he storms out of the room.
So that is how you can feel like you’re seven years old again. Refuse to allow someone to burst your bubble. You don’t necasarilly have to throw a tantrum, but believe in the impossible. When someone tries to suck you back into reality, refuse to abandon the childish world of imagination. Latch on to that world and hold on for dear life. You can do literally anything you decide you want to do. You simply have to work hard enough and long enough. If you want to feel like a kid again, you simply must believe impossible things.
Maybe I will fall short or burn out, but that will be because I made the choice to quit. It won’t be because someone told me it couldn’t be done.